Insight 85: Why do children want to hurt their parents?

I've heard once too many times parents telling me it's always other people's kids that need help. And when they do that it is always obvious that they are subconsciously talking about themselves and yet they are blinded for the very same reason. I've also noticed of late that more and more children are literally out to get even with their parents way before their preteen years. This may sound alarming or intimidating but this generation gap has always been around and the only difference is it has evolved into something more apparent unlike those days everything was swept under the carpet. In other words, children are more open about their emotions and are more willing to discuss about things that bother them if they are allowed to talk about them.

The adage of 'times have changed' is also true as they are spoken from one generation to another because the human species do evolve and everything needs to rise to the next level otherwise we would still be in the Stone Age. When there is lack of communication there is also an absence of connection. Children, no matter how distant they are to their parents will still seek for approval and blessings from them. It seems like a natural thing to do. But if the parents have no time for their children the kids themselves will usually work out strategies and find ways to get the attention they want.

With more and more parents sorting out their own lines to have an epicurean life their children's welfare are usually compromised. Spending what little time after working hours in front of the idiot box and in shopping malls are no substitute for quality time. Listening to your children's experiences about school, teachers, friends and discoveries is a very important aspect in their lives. If there's no one they can talk to at home than they may seek out the next most available person or place to hang around with.

In the worst case scenario, if parents can only scream, scold or shout at their kids to get a message across than they can expect the same in return. And if it doesn't stop there the kids will go one step further to do everything they possibly can to irritate their parents to punish them for not being there. If it is still at an early stage a lot can still be done to salvage this rupturing relationship. But if you wait a little too long then things can get so bad everyone's lives will be affected by what could have been easily avoidable.

All the kids want is to be heard and comforted by a caring mom or dad and to be assured that everything will be alright. It's going to be hard for the parents, especially if they live by orthodox rules and regulations, to accept everything their children are going to reveal. But wouldn't it be better to embrace your children's hurts and accept them than to create a barrier that will only cause a rift? Would you rather be insentient related strangers than a loving family?

When people are free to express themselves to the ones they love nothing can stop them from being real and true to one another. And to get there one has to leave behind ego, pride, blind faith, old school of thoughts and basically ignorance.